


Memories Remembered Memories Forgotten

by Lethotep



Series: Theoretical Battle Scenarios and other secrets [5]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Ambiguity, Anxiety, Backstory, Gen, Panic Attacks, Papyrus Needs A Hug, Papyrus centric, Sans Needs A Hug, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, poor communication, told in a sort of flashback
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-07-18 03:47:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7298203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lethotep/pseuds/Lethotep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The aftermath of the fall of Gaster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Questions

Frisk loitered around the lab after Alphys had run off to the ‘toilet’ before pulling out their newly upgraded phone and fiddling with it. Opening up the contacts screen, they hovered over Papyrus’s name before pushing the call button.

 

Within two rings he picked up and Frisk told them they were in a lab.

 

“A LAB???” Papyrus spoke up, “MY BROTHER WOULD LOVE THAT! HE LOVES SCIENCE FICTION!! ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S REAL.”

 

Frisk laughed in agreement, remembering Sans’s prank with the telescope - it was interesting to know that he actually liked science. It made the creepy smaller skeleton more humanised… figuratively speaking.

 

They were still wary of Sans though...

 

Still… it was time to continue on once again.

 

.

.

.

**_RESET_ **

.

.

.

 

Frisk ignored that confused voice in their head asking them why they reset again. They didn’t want to think about that. They just wanted to enjoy this day again…

 

Make their friends again.

 

Make  _ more  _ friends this time!

 

Do even better!

 

It had been scary at first, but now all they wanted was to meet everyone. Monsters were great! 

 

There was an echo of agreement.

 

They didn’t hurry through the Underground like they had the previous few times, they weren’t in a rush to leave anymore. They didn’t really  _ want  _ to leave...

 

Still.

 

They had called Papyrus more during this run than ever before - they still regretted not doing so more that first time.

 

They were back in Hotland again, Frisk looked up at the lab ahead of them. Fumbling through their pockets, they pulled out their phone and called Papyrus.

 

Two rings.

 

When Papyrus picked up, his tone sounded slightly different.

 

“HMMM... A MYSTERIOUS SCIENCE HOUSE.” 

 

Before Frisk could ask what he meant by that, another voice echoed through the speaker.

 

“the sign outside says "lab."” the voice of Sans spoke up.

 

Oh? Sans was there. Huh… he must have taken one of those short-cut things.

 

“LAB?” Papyrus asked Sans, sounding confused.

 

Frisk blinked. What? That didn’t seem right.

 

“like... laboratory.” 

 

Frisk nodded, unseen.

 

“LABRADOR... Y? DOES THAT MEAN THERE ARE DOGS INSIDE?”

 

“i mean. i wouldn't rule it out.”

 

The two hung up.

 

Frisk stared at their phone in confusion. That… was odd. Last reset Papyrus had known what a lab was, why was he pretending not to know this time?

 

They thought back to the previous run, to the last time they had called from around the lab. Papyrus had been alone then, but had told them that the lab was something his brother might be interested in. Yet when both of them were on the phone just now, Papyrus had acted clueless…

 

Maybe it was because of how often they’d been phoning him this time, but they knew Papyrus was anything but clueless. He’d told them that he knew almost nothing about Waterfall at first, only to be able to tell them plenty whenever they called!

 

Now that they thought of it, when they’d called Papyrus in Waterfall earlier after avoiding Sans’s telescope prank he’d also told you about how much Sans loved science then - and complained about his brother never telling anyone anything.

 

But wait… Frisk looked up slowly in thought. 

 

Papyrus… didn’t really speak about himself, they realised. He spoke about his brother, and Undyne and about the Underground - but not himself.

 

Not really.

 

And then  _ this _ , Papyrus was lying to Sans about something as odd as this? Why would he pretend he didn’t know what a lab was around his brother?

 

What a strange thing to lie about.

 

Sans wasn’t the only one who wasn’t talking about anything it seemed.

 

They wondered if they should try and do something about it.

 

But what?

 

Dialing Papyrus again, they cut him off mid-sentence.

 

There was a pause, and Papyrus spoke again, much quieter than before.

 

“... What do you mean ‘why did I lie just then?’ What lie?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... so this is me finally writing up backstory i've had planned for months. Fun fact: I was originally going to make most of these fics I write as comics (and the title of this one is actually my ut comic series' name), but i am slow at art which is why I've (mostly) switched to fics. Flashbacks start next chapter.


	2. Confusion of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback time. The brothers are freaking out and no one is communicating or thinking well as a result. It's kind of a bad day, things happened, so it's understandable.

There was a ripping sound and a flashing blue light that vanished in an instant, two skeletons collapsed onto the floor of the small Hotland apartment. Seemingly out of nowhere.

 

“Oh my god...” the smaller of the two spoke.

 

The taller one groaned slightly and pushed themselves up off the floor onto his knees.

 

“Sans?” he spoke, “What -”

 

He was cut off, “Papyrus, are you okay?! What the hell were you doing down there? You never go - why… oh god… you were so close to… to…”

 

Papyrus blinked, he couldn’t focus on anything. It felt like his mind had been put through a blender. Or like broken shards of glass that shifted out of reach, or cut at him when he tried to pull them together into something that made sense.

 

“I… I’m fine.” he struggled to focus, “Doing where? Sans, what happened?”

 

“I... We were… What do you remember?“ Sans asked.

 

“I.. About what?” Papyrus asked.

 

“About the Core - the Core labs and G-” Sans paused, eye sockets widening.

 

“Shit.” he whispered to himself, “I’ve got to go back -They’re still there. I’ve got to go back!”

 

In a flash Sans was gone, and Papyrus found himself alone in the tidy apartment. He took a deep breath, trying to pull his thoughts together. It was like trying to catch and hold smoke in his hands.

 

It kept twisting out of reach.

 

What was the last thing he remembered? He had been working on something - building something? Talking to someone? But what? Who?

 

Wringing gloved hands together he looked around the apartment. 

 

It felt so unfamiliar.

 

But… he remembered cleaning it up earlier before work as well? He knew there were two small bedrooms through the two doors, and this living area-slash-office was the only other room. The kitchen and bathrooms being communal to the building on the ground floor.

 

But it was in a clinical sence - as if it had been described to him, or as if he'd seen the layout on a blueprint.

 

That didn’t make sense?

 

This didn’t seem like where he was supposed to be though. The pale red walls were wrong. 

  
  


_ Green. _

 

_ Grey. _

 

_ Black. _

  
  


Legs shaking, he stood up and walked over to the desk in the corner. It was piled high with books and notes. Hands shaking, he leafed through them.

 

Dread.

 

As his eyes skated over the scientific notes, written in a text he knew perfectly, his ribcage filled with dread, weighing him down like lead.

 

_ Pain _ .

 

Oh god!   
  


He hadn’t realised how his breathing had picked up, growing more and more shallow as his gaze glazed over.

 

The words and diagrams in front of him fading out as his vision blurred.

 

His eyes darted around the room rapidly. There were a few children's drawings taped up to one of the walls. They mostly showed what he recognised as him and Sans. One drawing in the center showed three figures...

 

Before he even realised that he’d moved, he was across the room. He ripped the drawing off the wall. His hands were shaking so badly he could barely see the crayon lines.

 

He dropped the drawing, shirking away from it as if it burnt his hand.

 

_ Nonononononono _ !

 

He couldn’t breath.

 

He couldn’t think.

 

He - he needed to - to -

 

_ Run.Hide.Escape. _

 

He darted through the door to his right. It lead to a small bedroom with a bed on either side.

 

It was hot, stuffy and dark. 

 

The room had a careful line taped down the middle. 

 

He was suffocating.

 

He felt exposed, it wasn’t dark enough - it was too open!

 

He had to escape - get away!

 

Hide!

 

He didn’t register his hands fumbling with the wardrobe door, couldn’t think through the blind panic to process what he was doing as he pulled the door shut after him and curling up tightly, the scattered clothing on the floor beneath him and hanging around him going unnoticed.

 

It was pitch black, and swelteringly hot. 

 

The heat wouldn’t normally be an issue, skeletons were surprisingly hardy to temperature extremes.

 

But...

 

The air felt thin. Dizzying.

 

He continued to gasp for breath.

 

But…

 

It was dark. 

 

He could block out the world.

 

He couldn’t be seen.

 

He was safe.

 

Safe.

 

Burying his head into his knees he struggled to breath.

 

Hoarse breaths still too rapid and shallow.

 

Focus on the blackness.

 

Focus on the nothingness surrounding him.

 

Focus on not existing.

 

Not being real.

 

Bones melting into nothingness.

 

Nothing was real.

 

None of this was real.

 

Focus on the  _ void  _ -

 

Everything stopped.

 

He was still gasping for breath, but the small crowded wardrobe felt freezing cold.

 

A chemical smell wafted briefly that set his teeth on edge. 

 

**~~_...Come join the fun..._ ~~ **

 

Everything dropped away. 

 

Cold.

 

Dark.

 

A white hand reached towards him in a memory.

 

A sharp light.

 

A cold clinical voice spoke.

 

~~**_...Dolorem ipsum docet…_ ** ~~

 

~~**_...That’s how you will learn…_ ** ~~

 

~~**_...I see no other solution…_ ** ~~

 

The world distorted.

 

Papyrus’s world filled with static, ripping up everything.

 

Red.

 

Red streaked through.

 

He was falling.

 

**~~_...Be seeing you..._ ~~ **

  
  
  


The wardrobe door was ripped open.

 

Papyrus flinched and went still at the sudden light. 

 

Frozen in place.

 

“There you are!” Papyrus registered his brother hugging him, the tension holding him lessened slightly, and he tried to maneuver his arms back around his brother in return. He felt exhausted. 

 

Papyrus felt his brother shaking.

 

He was alert again in an instant.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

There was a pause as they realised they’d spoken at the same time.

 

“Y-you first.” Papyrus said, breaking the silence.

 

Sans’s face wasn’t visible from his position, buried into Papyrus’s side, half in the wardrobe.

 

“They’re gone.” Sans spoke finally, “My team… Dad… They’re…”

 

Papyrus didn’t know why he flinched when Sans said _that_ word. Why an angry buzzing filled his head for an instant.

 

Sans didn’t notice, he had slumped further into Papyrus, visibly being drained the more he spoke.

 

Unable to even hold himself up.

 

What had happened?

 

What had happened today?

 

“I couldn’t remember my access code…” Sans muttered, “I had to teleport through. The entire area was being cordoned off when I got back there - I tried to find -”

 

Sans stopped speaking. He lifted his head up and stared into nothing, eyes widening in horror.

“I… I can’t remember their names.” Sans spoke in horror.

 

He whipped his head to face Papyrus eyes wide, “You - when- earlier you-  _ what do you remember _ ?” 

 

“About what?” Papyrus asked.

 

“About what happened at the labs at the Core! About  _ everything _ !”

 

His mind still felt like shattered swirling glass. Piercing him if he got too close to the twisting shards.

 

“Labs? What..?”

 

He knew the Core - he was sure he worked there? (Wait… how could he work there? No, he was sure he did.) He couldn’t remember labs there? The only lab he knew was - 

 

_ Pain _ .

 

He halted that thought before it could progress further. Before the shards of memories pierced him through.

 

He couldn’t break down, not again, his brother needed him right now!

 

He cut himself off, shaking his head.

 

“You don’t remember?” Sans whispered.

 

Papyrus shook his head more, he couldn't speak. He couldn’t think! He didn’t know  _ what  _ he remembered!

 

Not now.

 

“oh.” Sans didn’t say anything further. He sounded completely drained. Papyrus hadn’t heard Sans sound like that in years… no, wait - was that right? 

 

Sans slumped back into Papyrus and didn’t move. He didn’t seem to have the energy to even hold himself up anymore. Papyrus couldn’t move either, his mind still too chaotic. 

 

Contextless desperation and pain flooded him.

 

The context was  _ there _ , he just couldn’t grasp it!

 

( _ Function _ )

 

He forced himself to sit up, he had to make himself useful. 

 

That was important.

 

“Sans, are you okay?” he asked, nudging him slightly. He didn't know _how_ he was able to actually talk again, his word sounded so distant to himself, but he refused to give up!

 

Sans just made a sound. He slumped down further. It didn't seem like talking would do any good now.

 

Well.

 

This just wouldn't do! 

 

Not on his watch!

 

Carefully lifting his brother up with him as he stood, forcing Sans onto his feet as well Papyrus half walked half carried his brother to his bed. Sans rolled over into a motionless doze of sorts immediately. 

 

He had run out of steam completely.

 

Whatever had happened today had clearly taken a toll on him.

 

Papyrus wished he remembered more of what had happened...

 

Papyrus pulled the light blanket over Sans with shaking hands.

 

Finally, with his brother comfortable at least, he propped himself up next to Sans’s bed and stared blankly out at nothing as he waited for his mind to settle in the dim light of the room.

 

A quiet voice mumbled, “you really don’t remember why you were down there with him, do you?”

 

Papyrus shook his head, this entire day didn’t seem real ( _nothing_ felt real), but he had no idea what Sans was talking about. He could vaguely recall working on _something_ , but nothing else.

 

“oh.”

 

Papyrus needed the sharp colourful glass in his mind to calm long enough for him to reconstruct the puzzles they formed, to make sense of things.

 

He focused on breathing steadily as well.

 

He didn't want what had happened before to happen again.

 

That… that uncontrollable panic had not been pleasant.

 

He was determined to fix this.

 

Whatever ‘this' was.

 

There was no puzzle he couldn't solve!

 

It might take days, even weeks before he managed to solve it and get his thoughts settled into coherency. 

 

But he was determined to do it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha wow... such poor communication going on, no wonder they're probably more confused than necessary. For two amnesiac skeletons anyway. They're both kind of stressed. Also, once more I go heavy on ambiguity! I kinda want to clarify some things now, but at the same time it'll probably be explained eventually so it's fiiiine...


	3. Stormy Minds and Ebbing Tides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MTT watching! Courage! Going outside! Facing the world! Also constant anxiety, I guess?

Papyrus woke up at the pressure of someone moving on the bed he’d fallen asleep against. His neck ached as a result of falling asleep at such an odd angle. 

However he was alert in an instant, he looked over to see Sans climbing back into bed.

 

“go back to sleep,” Sans whispered.

 

“Where did you go?” Papyrus whispered back in the arid darkness.

 

“Out. it’s not important.” Sans said, before rolling back onto the bed heavily, face buried in the pillow.

 

Papyrus paused, before asking, “Did you go back?”

 

“yeah.” Sans murmured into his pillow. After a minute he added as an afterthought, words muffled, “i don’t think we need to worry about going back in to work on monday.”

 

He didn't elaborate further.

 

Papyrus was silent.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Things didn’t get better in the next few days of their impromptu long weekend. Sans refused to get out of bed and barely spoke at all.

 

It was terrifying.

 

Papyrus had no choice but to keep going. He couldn't _not_ keep going!

 

He still felt his breathing pick up when he left the small bedroom he and Sans shared, but he couldn’t _not_ face things with Sans being so close to just... giving up. He refused to look at the doorway to the other bedroom and averted himself bodily from going near the desk or really anything in the living area.

 

Well, mostly. There was a small shelf of dry foods (it didn’t look as if anyone in the household ever really cooked _real_ food) and a small selection of teas, with a kettle on a small table next to it, but that probably wasn’t really enough to last long.

 

With nothing else to do wth his time, he made some of the food and a cup of tea, and took them to Sans. It took him a while, but he finally managed to convince his brother to eat and drink something before Sans pushed him away.

 

Not knowing what else to do, Papyrus left the room to give Sans some space. Sitting on the couch in the living area fidgeting in the absence of anything to do, Papyrus wished he’d grabbed something to read from their room before deciding to give Sans space.

 

He didn’t want to re-enter the room again, though, Sans wanted to rest. He didn’t want to disturb him again so quickly.

 

He tried not to admit to himself that he just didn't know what else to do to try and help his brother. He was sure he would think of something!

 

Maybe all Sans needed was rest, and he would be okay…

 

Eye Sockets darting around the room as he fidgeted, he finally decided to turn on the small television. He couldn’t remember ever really watching much television before (not that he could remember much of anything right now), but it would be something to distract him from… everything. 

 

If only for a bit.

 

He jumped at the sound when he turned it on, and quickly lowered the volume so as not to disrupt Sans.

 

Some show was coming to an end. There was a teaser that something new was coming up next. Papyrus drew his knees up onto the couch and settled down to distract himself.

 

The something new turned out to be a TV movie starring some up and comer called Mettaton. The name sounded familiar, but he couldn’t remember anything more.

 

Two hours in, and Papyrus hadn’t even realised time had passed. He had been completely engrossed in the heartfelt, charismatic performance!

 

“And remember, darlings” Mettaton spoke, “shine bright like the stars you are! Never let anyone deny your greatness!”

His front screen formed a bright red heart, as he blew a kiss to the audience as rose petals showered down from above before the credits started to roll.

 

Papyrus blinked. 

 

A warm feeling had filled him throughout the film, and now that it was over he could still feel it. For that brief period, nothing else had mattered. Everything else had disappeared and the aching in his head had vanished. The scattered confusion hadn’t seemed as important.

 

But already he could feel reality returning to him and with it a cold anxiety and painfully piercing shards stabbing in his mind.

 

Standing up, more out of a need to move than anything, he went to check up on Sans quietly.

 

He was still asleep.

 

Pausing for a moment, debating with himself, Papyrus finally made up his mind. He went to his own bed and dragged the pillow and blanket into his arms before quietly making his way back to the couch.

 

Pulling the blanket over his head like a hood, and with the pillow clutched in his lap, Papyrus flicked through the channels until he found one showing reruns of what looked like a talk show featuring Mettaton.

 

Hugging the pillow, Papyrus let himself relax for what felt like the first time.

 

He woke up the next morning with a real glimmer of hope in his soul.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Papyrus had braced himself for the inevitable, but he still forced Sans to eat those first few days, while avoiding doing so himself as much as possible.

 

He didn’t need it as much anyway.

 

The sooner the food inside the apartment ran out… the sooner he would have to face the world outside the apartment.

 

He wasn’t sure he could do it.

 

But as Monday arrived, Papyrus steeled his resolve. There was still enough food to last a day of two more if he didn’t have any, but despite Sans saying there was no point in going to work on Monday, Papyrus felt like he should at least try.

 

He shook his head at himself, he didn’t even know what he did at The Core! But… Maybe going there will help him remember?

 

But, it meant he was going to have to leave the apartment.

 

After waking Sans up with a bowl of noodles, Papyrus told Sans he’d be going out. After getting a disinterested hum of response, Papyrus took a deep breath. He thought about what Mettaton would do in this situation. He took a deep breath and tried to channel Mettaton, but caved at the last second. Unable to think of anything to say.

 

“Sans...:” Papyrus trailed off.

 

Unable to get his thoughts across with the splintering in his head, Papyrus instead made a few half aborted gestures trying to get across his feelings before finally just picking his brother up.

 

“wow! hey!” Sans said in surprise as Papyrus carried his brother out of the room he hadn’t left in days.

 

Placing Sans on the couch, Papyrus arranged his blanket around the startled into incredulous Sans. Seeing a look on his face that wasn’t blank emptiness for the first time in days Papyrus felt a surge of accomplishment.

 

“Sit.” He said shortly.

 

Reaching for the remote, Papyrus turned on the television, flipping through the channels until he saw Mettaton.

 

“Watch.” He told Sans, “I’ll be back soon!

 

Papyrus swore he was going to script out and rehearse exactly what he wanted to say to motivate Sans next time! 

 

It was terrifying, leaving the apartment alone with his mind still so scattered. The rest of the building seemed thankfully empty - everyone must have left for work by this time it seemed - as he carefully made his way down to the building's kitchen.

 

He quickly realised he didn’t know which, if any, food in the communal kitchen was theirs. Well, he was just going to have to buy more then!

 

He had quite a fair amount of gold in his wallet but given that he wasn’t sure where he’d be getting more from in the future he wasn’t planning on going crazy at the shop.

 

Exiting the kitchen, Papyrus made his way to the door outside next to the stairwell. As he got closer to the door he could feel his breathing picking up. He forced himself forward anyway.

 

He got as far as holding the door handle in his hand before he found himself unable to move further.

 

He was shaking. He could dimly hear the rattling of his bones. He tried to steady himself, but he was terrified.

 

He’d managed to not think about it, but now he was faced with it.

 

He knew nothing about what lay outside the door to the outside. Everything outside was a gaping hole in his mind. He felt like he was walking out into an empty abyss.

 

Out into some kind of void-

 

He backed away from the door until he tripped on the stairs. Landing back heavily he pulled himself into a ball, head between his knees as he sat on the steps gasping for breath.

 

His mind was whirring.

 

He didn’t know how long he sat there gasping, head filled with angry buzzing before he was startled out of his haze by a hand on his shoulder.

 

“...I said are you alright?” Papyrus tried to focus on the figure that had come down the stairway behind them.

 

It was a fire elemental holding a small child. Papyrus could feel the warmth of her hand sinking into his bones.

 

With difficulty, but motivated somewhat by the embarrassment of having been seen panicking in a public area for no reason, Papyrus forced down as much as he could and plastered on a shaky smile.

 

“Yes! Thank you!” Papyrus managed to force out.

 

The smaller, green flame in the woman's arms wiggled around to stare at Papyrus in curiosity. Papyrus smiled at the child, who then buried her face into her mother’s shoulder.

 

“Are you sure?” The woman asked, sounding worried.

 

“Please! Don’t be concerned!” Papyrus smiled, “I’m quite alright!”

 

The woman didn’t look convinced but seemed at a loss as to how to proceed. Papyrus distantly sympathised that.

 

After a minute, the child started fidgeting, refocusing the elemental's attention.

 

“Well…” She said finally, “If you’re sure then.”

 

Walking down the stairs, she turned around to look at Papyrus one more time, before opening the door and walking out.

 

Papyrus let out a breath he hadn’t realised he had been holding as a wave of heat blasted in from the briefly open door as the woman left, and quickly dissipated.

 

He felt dizzy and exhausted, but he couldn’t give up now.

 

And besides...

 

He’d seen it.

 

He’d seen the outside. When the woman opened the door.

 

He didn’t _recognise_ it, but it was there.

 

He could do this.

 

Taking a few deep, slow breaths, Papyrus finally rose unsteadily to his feet and followed the by now long gone footsteps of the lady before him, reaching the door he wrenched it open before he had time to think and stepped outside.

 

It was hot.

 

Much hotter than the still sweltering warmth inside the building.

 

He tried to focus his eyes, blinking in the red, luminous interior of Hotland. He took a deep breath and looked around.

 

Everything was so… open.

 

He could feel his soul start to pound again. He focused on breathing as normally as he could as he jerkily moved his head to take in as much of his surroundings as he could.

 

There were houses and other low-rise apartment buildings around. The ceiling of the cavern was so far above he couldn’t make out anything but blackness above the artificial lighting.

 

His vision blurred and he looked down at the red porous rock that made up the ground around him.

 

Scoria, his mind supplied, looking at the rough surface. It could be used as a high-temperature insulator. Looking up and then back at the apartment he’d just exited he realised that the buildings seemed to use slabs of it to make up large segments of the exterior walls. That was likely the reason the insides of the buildings were able to be kept slightly cooler, he thought to himself.

 

He’d used it as an insulator on some of the construction projects in the lower floors of The Core-

 

He cut that thought off before he could really react to it. He had to focus! He had to go to The Core to see if he could remember anything more, it was true. But more importantly still, he had to find more food for Sans!

 

Still, at least he vaguely knew more about… what he knew, now.

 

Taking care to avoid looking around, other than the bare minimum needed to keep his bearings, so as to not feel overwhelmed by the vastness of the open space around him he made his way down the path.

 

The residential area was rather small, and after only about a ten-minute walk he found himself facing a small shop. He paused, wondering to himself if he should buy the food now, or on the way back from The Core.

 

He’d do it now!

 

It would mean he’d have to carry things back and forth, but it would get it out of the way in case.

 

Walking forward he pushed open the shop door and walked into the cooler interior. Papyrus was starting to realise there was no such thing as _actually_ cool, just intense heat and slightly less intense heat. It didn’t bother him as much as he felt like it should, though.

 

“Hi, how can I help ya?” a voice spoke the moment he closed the door behind him.

 

Turning to face the shopkeeper, Papyrus put on his best smile, “Just grabbing some food thanks!”

 

“No problem!” The purple man said, brushing one of the tendrils sticking out the side of his head back over his shoulder.

 

“Looking for anything in particular, or do you need some time to look around?”

 

“I-I’ll just take a look, for now, thanks!” Papyrus said, head rushing slightly at the sudden conversation.

 

“No prob! Let me know if you need anything!” He said, before focusing on something behind the counter.

 

Letting out a breath Papyrus allowed himself to look around the shop, trying to take in everything as quickly as possible, only to realise he couldn’t remember what he’d just seen, and trying again a second time, taking it slower and actually taking in the items around him.

 

Walking around the shelves, still hyper aware of the shopkeeper, who wasn’t even paying attention to them, Papyrus gathered together a collection of ready-made meals and a few boxes of different teas as well and made his way to the counter.

 

The shopkeeper looked up at him and grinned, “Okay, great! I’ll just tally those up!”

 

While he was doing so the shopkeeper kept talking, “...We have a special on these, so it’ll be half the usual price. Anyway, I haven’t seen you around before, and I’m pretty good at faces - are you new in town?”

 

Papyrus froze at the unexpected question and realised he had no idea how to respond. While he didn’t _remember_ anything about this place, the fact that the apartment felt familiar and the fact that he apparently worked at The Core meant he must have been here a while at least!

 

Papyrus finally realised he had to respond, and shook his head, “O-oh! No! I’ve been here a while?”

 

“Wow, really? I don’t normally forget a face.” the man grinned, “Maybe we just missed each other.”

 

“Maybe,” Papyrus said, still smiling.

 

“So that comes to 248G!”

 

Papyrus pulled his wallet out and handed over the money.

 

“Great! Hope you have a good day. See you around - and I won’t forget your face next time!

 

The man bagged up Papyrus’s items and pushed them towards him.

 

“Thanks!” Papyrus said, grabbing the bags.

 

“See ya around!” the cheery shopkeeper waved as Papyrus left the shop and reentered the heat of Hotland.

 

Still feeling overwhelmed, Papyrus wondered if he shouldn’t just call it a day and head back to Sans. He could try going to work again tomorrow.

 

No!

 

He’d gotten this far! He could keep going!

 

Pulling himself up, bags in hand he looked around for some sign as to which direction to go as he started walking again.

 

As he came close to the edge of town, where a large sign pointed in various directions and locations, Papyrus breathed out in relief. Squinting at the sign, he turned down the path to his left and kept walking along the Southern edge of the residential area. 

 

A long drop into magma bordering the path alongside the town.

 

It didn’t bother him at all.

 

It was actually calming in a way, seeing the red glow from below.

 

That calm didn’t last long when he heard the sound of a child screaming. He stiffened up immediately in response, head shooting in the direction the sound had come from. There was a small schoolhouse near the edge, children were running around near the edge, chasing each other. Laughter reached him, as well as more high-pitched screams.

 

His head was still rushing, and the sound still made him curl into a ball and vanish, but there was no threat, no problem. 

 

Nothing wrong. 

 

He pushed how unbalanced and afraid the sound had made him down and walked quickly past the school.

 

He idly wondered why there was a fence around only the side of the school facing the cliff drop. That seemed a bit unnecessary, didn’t the people who built it realise children wouldn’t understand the danger and know what had to be avoided if they were kept away from it like that? He wondered how the children there were taught that lesson then.

 

As he passed the school by, the sound of children playing loudly still setting something inside him on edge in the distance, he passed the last building in the residential area before the floor fell away sharply on all sides into magma. There was a constructed crossing that lead above it and split towards the rest of Hotland and The Core. It was covered in vents.

 

But Papyrus wasn’t focused on the crossing.

 

He could finally see it for the first time, a low hum he hadn’t realised was everywhere around him now had a source.

 

The Core.

 

It was huge, sitting in the middle of the magma, huge pipes, and thick cables visible at this distance. It was very close.

 

Too close.

 

Papyrus felt sick.

 

He couldn’t move.

 

He _refused_ to move.

 

Something about it… he couldn’t!

 

He couldn’t go back there!

 

He didn’t want -

 

He didn’t want… to be forgotten like…

 

He couldn’t go back!

 

It was… his… fault…

 

~~**_...You'll be with us shortly..._ ** ~~

 

He swayed gently on the edge of the cliff.

 

* * *

 

 

Sans woke up as the door to the apartment opened and slammed shut. He could hear movement as someone made their way around the apartment and put things away.

 

Must be Papyrus, he thought, not bothering to open his eyes. That felt like too much effort right now.

 

He heard the sound of something being dropped and a quiet curse. It repeated a few times, with at least half of whatever Papyrus was doing ending up on the floor at one point or another from what he could tell without moving or opening his eyes.

 

But eventually, the sounds of movement faded away.

 

Only the low sound of the TV Sans hadn’t had the energy to turn off once Papyrus left remained. He hadn’t really paid much attention to it at any rate.

 

Things had been calm again for not very long when Sans felt a weight next to him on the couch.

 

It was a minute more before Papyrus moved again, leaning against him and pulling the blanket that had fallen to the ground over both of them. 

 

Sans could hear Papyrus pull his legs up onto the couch too, placing an arm around Sans and dragging him closer in a half hug. Sans made no move against it. It wasn’t like he minded the comfort at all.

 

He could still hear the TV going distantly as he drifted off again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Papyrus. so... forgettable. Also, lacking in an understanding of what constitutes basic safety! :D
> 
> And hey, who hasn’t done the whole ‘why deal with my problems when i can escape into fiction’ dealio? Much easier of a solution!
> 
> I wonder what happened with Paps at the core's edge there before he went home? Gosh!


	4. Maybe You're Both Wrong?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The argument. The two brothers have different memories, and what they remember don't match up.

It took a while, but life seemed to improve over the next few weeks. Things started to fall into a new sense of stability, or at least a sort of consistency.

 

Despite his lingering dislike of the outside, Papyrus kept moving forward. And with time, Sans seemed to slowly start shifting out of the mourning depression he’d fallen into. At least it felt that way to Papyrus, and he was quick to pounce on any hint that Sans was going backward.

 

As long as they were both moving forward, everything would be alright!

 

There were some things that were just better off in the past. No point in thinking about things that can’t be changed!

 

Just! Don’t think about them!

 

So, after the first week or two mostly spent just watching Sans or watching TV, safe in the comfort and confidence that Mettaton’s shows gave, he’d finally amassed enough of the confidence he’d been devouring on screen to finally do something real.

 

Papyrus made up his mind to find a job.

 

A _new_ job.

 

With the looming realities of rent, regular food, and other amenities becoming all the more real each day, Papyrus was determined to face things head on. It was easier in the end.

 

Constantly moving, working… that sounded so much easier than thinking about, _other things._

 

_The things he remembered..._

 

He’d gone back to the shop, smiling brilliantly and doing his best to mimic the aura of confidence he’d been studying on television. And with a bit of persistence, he’d soon found himself a job doing deliveries. He’d been ecstatic!

 

Even Sans had been visibly happy when Papyrus arrived back to the apartment and told him. At least Papyrus hoped so, he hoped he hadn't imagined it.

 

Doing deliveries quickly turned out to be something Papyrus truly hated. A lot. Hotland had an absolutely _horrible_ public transport system, and the constant twists and direction changes caused by the heat and steam-powered puzzles were decidedly unhelpful!

 

More than once he’d almost lost a package when a vent shot him off in an unexpected direction when he'd been a second too fast or too slow!

 

Everyday, work left him feeling frustrated and even more off-balance, but every time he got home he took a breath at the front door and pushed it down before going inside and greeting Sans.

 

Pushed down his hatred of this place.

 

Of Hotland.

 

Of The Core, _always_ on the edge of his vision as he made his way around. The _whispering_.

 

Of the unwelcoming apartment and the increasingly dusty desk, which he refused to acknowledge. Of the name he knew as well as his own, but refused to say.

 

It was hard to move forward with so many reminders, but he steeled his resolve and kept moving anyway.

 

Still, the job did help expand his world...

 

* * *

 

Sans was lying on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. Papyrus had left for his job a few hours ago. Things had been bad the last few weeks. He hadn’t really realised it until now. Papyrus had been talking a lot about finding Sans something to do that would cheer him up and take his mind off things, but the sentiment had felt so hollow up until today. It felt like he could see clearly for the first time since everything happened.

 

Maybe he should do something.

 

When Papyrus had left this morning, Sans felt like he’d actually looked and _seen_ his brother for the first time. He looked tired. At least as tired as Sans felt all the time.

 

It was difficult to fight through the waves of exhausting apathy that had overwhelmed him, but Papyrus was all he had left. He couldn’t keep doing this to him every time he had a Bad Time.

 

Papyrus burst through the door suddenly and without warning, Sans looked up in surprise at the sudden commotion.

 

“SANS!” Papyrus said, volume on full. Sans hadn’t seen Papyrus look this alive in weeks.

 

“SANS, DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE PLACES _OUTSIDE_ OF HOTLAND?” His eyes alight with excitement.

 

Sans’s fleeting amusement at Papyrus’s outburst died as he registered the words spoken.

 

“what.” Sans said.

 

Misunderstanding Papyrus nodded in enthusiasm, “YES! I KNOW! I HAD TO DO A PICK-UP FROM THIS PLACE CALLED WATERFALL!”

 

Papyrus’s eyes were glowing with happiness, but he had calmed slightly when he spoke again, looking at Sans with stars in his eyes, “It was so different! And _not_ awful! We should visit it together!”

 

Sans felt numb, “we have.”

 

“What?” Papyrus asked.

 

“we’ve visited waterfall before.” Sans said, voice lacking inflection, “a lot actually.”

 

The two of them would take his telescope down there almost weekly for years after dad… after he… after he decided the two of them were responsible enough to go out by themselves? Sans shook his head lightly. That wasn’t important, it was so long ago it’s no wonder he can’t remember the exact details.

 

But visiting Waterfall… he and Paps had been doing that for _years_. His soul felt like lead in his chest. He’d been so caught up in his own grief he’d done nothing about _this_!

 

Papyrus had been seemingly handling everything so well since the accident, Sans had completely forgotten he was doing it all with who knows _what_ scrambled up in his head!

 

God! If he didn’t remember _Waterfall_ of all things…

 

Papyrus had fallen silent

 

“Oh.” Papyrus finally spoke.

 

Seeing the look on his brother’s face Sans decided he had to say something, “hey, look - it’s okay bro! we can go visit waterfall. heh, might be nice to get out of the house for a bit.”

 

Papyrus was unreadable but he nodded along with Sans’s words.

 

* * *

 

 

Sans started to leave the house on occasion after that, doing his best to make an effort for his brother's sake. The first time out was a trip to Waterfall the brothers took together. Papyrus had gotten ahold of a book of the Underground’s geography, and had been animatedly reading about all the places he’d like to see that _weren’t_ Hotland.

 

Papyrus really seemed to dislike Hotland.

 

It was familiar to Sans, he could kinda remember Papyrus doing the same thing when they were kids. Where had they been when that’d happened? Sans strained to remember. But memories of childhood fade, and while unfortunate that was just life.

 

It wasn’t that important.

 

But thinking about memories, Sans sorted through his own mind, looking for gaps. Childhood was mostly a blur with dispersed moments spent with his brother, but who could really remember much that far back anyway? Other than blank spaces regarding some work projects, and the complete loss of his friends’ names, his own memories seemed intact.

 

Unlike his brother’s.

 

Sans shivered.

 

Papyrus had been so close to it when everything had started going wrong. Sans hadn’t even known he was down there. When the alarms had started going off, he’d run in there to find Dad, only to see Papyrus right in the middle of everything.

 

Staring into that growing light, eyes wide and unmoving.

 

Not for the first time, Sans wondered what Papyrus had been doing down there in The Core with Dad. Papyrus had worked on the upper floors for the most part, and would rarely go down to The Core Labs where Dad wor- had worked. Even Sans didn't go down to that particular area as much since he'd been shifted to his newest assignment.

 

Sans felt a pang of loss.

 

Well, it didn’t matter. Papyrus couldn’t remember. He’d probably never know.

 

But… _that project_!

 

The machine!

 

That had been in the lab that day, he was sure of it - it was probably still there!

 

A jolt of hope, tiny, but still so real lit up inside him. He looked over at the dusty desk, and notes piled high. It had been close to completion, according to Dad. There may be a way!

  


* * *

 

 

“I’m going to try and bring them back,” Sans said one day, after Papyrus had gotten home from work.

 

“Bring who back?” Papyrus asked absently from where he was boiling water to make tea for the two of them.

 

“Dad and the others.”

 

There was the sound of something breaking.

 

Looking up, Sans saw Papyrus moving quickly to clean away the broken mug.

 

“Is that so?” Papyrus spoke while moving, a smile on his face, “Why?”

 

The expression was at odds with the clipped tone of his voice and Sans shot him a look.

 

“Because they’re our friends and family? Isn’t that a good enough reason?”

 

“I just don’t see any point in dwelling on this more than we have to.” Papyrus said, not looking at Sans as he threw the broken ceramic into the bin.

 

Something flipped in him for a second and Sans bit back bitterly,  “Well, of course you would say that. it’s not like you can even remember them!”

 

“I can remember enough.” Papyrus said stiffly.

 

“Oh yeah? Then tell me! Because that’s not what I've seen!”

 

Papyrus bristled, but took a breath before he spoke, “I just think we should let bygones be gone, can we focus on moving forward instead?”

 

“Papyrus, tell me what you remember. Because I can’t fathom any reason why you wouldn’t want to even try and bring them back if you actually could remember them!”

 

“Sans, please!”

 

“What, Papyrus? What possible reasons could you have to be okay with _Dad_ being gone if you actually can remember something?”

 

“He just - I -” Papyrus was shaking, facing away from Sans.

 

“Why do you _want_ him back? If _you_ can remember!” Papyrus suddenly burst out.

 

“What the hell Papyrus?” Sans yelled back.

 

“You say you remember! YOU TELL ME!” Papyrus raised his voice, for once not out of excitement.

 

“Dad was a virtual saint Papyrus! what are you talking about?” Sans seethed back.

 

“A saint.” Papyrus said, voice dropping but with that same bitter smile, “Hearing _you_ of all people say that. About him.”

 

“Look, I know I was kind of a shit when we were younger, but as an adult, I can recognise that he did the best he could for us! If you remember anything you would know this!”

 

“No.” Papyrus spoke so quietly it could have been someone else entirely, “Right to the end… He… he wasn’t a very good person.”

 

Sans took a breath.

 

“You’re just confused.” Sans said in a soothing voice, trying to calm Papyrus down, “I don’t know what you were doing down in The Core with Dad but-”

 

“DON’T!” Papyrus burst out, shocking Sans into silence.

 

“...call him that. Stop calling him that.” Papyrus trailed off, refusing to look at San’s face.

 

Sans stared at Papyrus shock slowly giving way to something uglier.

 

“Don’t call him that?” Sans said quietly.

 

Papyrus flinched at his tone and continued to look anywhere but at Sans, face miserable.

 

“Are you-” Sans took a shuddering breath. “You’re the one who started it!”

 

Papyrus didn’t say anything.

 

“You were the one who insisted we call him that from the start! Do you even remember _that_?”

 

Papyrus twitched and looked like he wanted to say something, wanted to disagree or _something_ , but he still didn’t look at Sans.

 

“Why are you doing this, Papyrus? The man opened his home to us, educated us, and hell! He’s also probably the only reason we ever had the opportunity to have our jobs! He did _everything_ for us!”

 

Sans didn’t know when his voice had raised to the point of yelling, but he was. Everything had been awful for so long now, he’d lost his half his family and his closest friends in one foul swoop. He couldn’t even remember his friend's names!

 

Why was Papyrus doing this?

 

“That’s not what…” Papyrus trailed off at the look Sans was giving him.

 

They stood in silence, the kettle cooling-off in the background as they did too.

 

“You’re right.” Papyrus spoke shortly.

 

“I’m probably just confused.” His head jerked to look Sans in the eye for less than a second before looking back at nothing, “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

 

Sans sat back on the couch heavily. He couldn't remember having stood up.

 

“You can try to bring your friends back, try to change what happened. I’ll support you.” Papyrus smiled.

 

Sans looked at Papyrus’s face. He looked so tired again, and God! That made Sans feel awful. He knew Papyrus had had his mind all scrambled up. It wasn’t his brother’s fault if he was getting mixed up about things.

 

Shit.

 

“look, papyrus,” he sighed, “i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to lose my temper like that.”

 

Papyrus had flipped the switch on the kettle again, “It’s fine. I’m sorry I upset you. Just because I don’t understand things clearly, it doesn’t mean you don’t. You’ve always known better than me about this sort of thing anyway.”

 

They were silent as the water boiled again.

 

Papyrus didn’t say anything as he made a single cup of tea instead of two. The second mug still sitting broken in the bin. Sans struggled to think of something to say to fix this.

 

Walking over to Sans, Papyrus handed the single mug to his surprised brother.

 

“I’m probably just overthinking things.” Papyrus took a shuddering breath that he halted halfway, “I think I just hate being stuck here. Everything is either too familiar or not familiar enough. I just want to be somewhere without _this_ hanging over me.”

 

Papyrus didn't specify what 'this' was, but Sans thought he understood.

 

Sans clutched the hot mug. This was the most Papyrus had said about what he actually felt since the incident. And Sans had thrown his words back at him, even knowing how confused Papyrus must be.

 

“hey. bro, it’s okay, i get it. i’m sorry too.” Sans whispered.

 

Papyrus nodded quietly, looking past Sans at nothing. His eye sockets blackened and expression out of focus.

 

“Anyway, I’m tired.” Papyrus spoke softly again, “I’m going to bed early.”

  
Papyrus left the room quietly, closing the bedroom door behind him, leaving Sans on the couch alone with the mug of tea and his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took forever, I’m bad at writing conflict... i feel like i have to resolve it, and i couldn't.let.that.happen. 
> 
> Also Sans’s pov! Because otherwise we may find out more of what Papyrus actually *does* know, and i can't have that! but i think i've laid a lot of the groundwork and set up some implications now.


	5. Full Circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life gets back on track.

When Sans went back to the lower level Core labs they were empty of all monsters. Out of habit, he’d grabbed his key-card before he’d left the apartment. It was a pointless muscle memory - when he’d gone back the day after the accident it hadn’t worked on the doors. And it didn’t work now.

 

He'd avoided the monsters on the upper floors, and taken a shortcut down to the bottom levels. To where he’d last seen the machine. It was still there.

 

The lab itself was a ghost town, without even the ghosts. It looked as if it had been abandoned for years.

 

He breathed out in relief at the sight of the machine, however. And he quickly started working on the calculations necessary to move something that large through a shortcut. Realising quickly it would be much more complicated than anything he could work out in his head, he looked for something to write his calculations down on.

 

Searching through the softly illuminated lab, a red glow filling the room from the dense, magically reinforced and sealed magma viewer on the floor and wall of the lab. He’d never really liked it, it had always felt ominous to him, and had been glad when he’d been moved off the lower floor to do some correspondence work with the sister lab in the West side of Hotland.

 

A niggling feeling of discomfort came to him at the thought of the Western lab, but he quickly dismissed it. He and Papyrus had spent a lot of time there when Dad was assigned to that lab when they were young. And he’d enjoyed corresponding with the head of the lab there, Dr Alphys had been nothing but accommodating.

 

He started digging through the mess that used to be Dad’s workspace. So much seemed missing or scattered, although surprisingly unharmed. He eventually found an ordinary enough blank book to use.

 

Flipping it open he grabbed a pen and started working on the calculations, only moving when he needed to go check the dimensions of the machine.

 

He couldn’t exactly weigh it... He’d need to make an estimate. 

 

Taking into account the alloys and amounts used, judging by the thickness of the metal, as well as the breakdown of the components making up the bulk of the mechanics…

 

It took him a while, but eventually he felt he had a close enough idea of what would be needed to move it.

 

Now to calculate the distance and altitude differences!

 

He felt another moment of unease as he worked, but this time he knew the cause. He wasn’t the best with mechanics and electronics. His focus had always been much more theoretical and mathematical.

 

Papyrus had always been better at more practical things like this.

 

But now… 

 

Papyrus had said he would help, but who knew how much he could even still remember about this stuff! Considering how upset he’d been yesterday, Sans didn’t want to push it just yet, and Papyrus hadn’t shown any inclination towards practical sciences since the accident - or even really made any mention of the labs except in the vaguest most unclear terms. Why would he get a job doing deliveries to help them pay the bills when he could easily find a more qualified position otherwise?  No matter how okay Papyrus claimed he was, he clearly wasn’t. But Sans didn’t know how to even begin to broach the subject with him.

 

Hopefully, it would get better with time.

 

But now that he thought about it... maybe Dr Alphys could help.

 

He’d liaised with her before when she’d first been assigned and taken over at the Western Lab, he couldn’t remember what he’d been working on at the time. That was one of the gaps he hadn’t been able to fill. And then again recently just before the accident, he'd worked with her again in passing. But, Dr Alphys, she’d been some kind of mechanical genius! Even if she’d been assigned to a non-mechanical project, she was still the most capable person he knew of in the field, and mechanical expertise was exactly what he needed.

 

Doodling idly in the notebook while he thought, he finally made up his mind. But first, to move the machine.

 

Hours and hours after he’d first arrived, and calculations firmly in mind he made his way over to it and slipped through space.

 

Stepping through he looked around Dad’s room. It’s a good thing he’d shifted things to the sides before he’d left the apartment, the machine took up a lot of room. The only space left to work was on the small bed really.

 

Looking up at the machine he took a deep breath. Time to get to work.

 

* * *

 

 

More time passed. A new Royal Scientist was selected eventually. Papyrus tried not to pay too much attention to the news, even though Sans had brought it up a few times. Papyrus always managed to make himself scarce.

 

Papyrus kept working hard every day, while Sans spent his time in  _ his  _ room with the machine. Papyrus did his best not to think about it, really. But he still made an effort to give Sans encouragement when he could!

 

After all, this had finally pulled Sans out of his depression, and no matter how he felt about things he wouldn’t let his, and his brother’s efforts go to waste!

 

His brother was doing better and there was no way Papyrus was going to get in the way of that!

 

And if he spent longer hours at work to avoid being under the same roof as that machine and what it represented, well! It wasn’t as if they didn’t need the extra money! 

 

It was like being stuck between a rock and a bigger rock as far as he was concerned, spend more time in the apartment, or spend more time outside in Hotland. At least he sometimes got to see places other than Hotland outside, so that was something.

 

Speaking of places other than Hotland…

 

Papyrus had finished work for the day. Technically he’s finished a while ago. His last delivery had been near the edge of Hotland, and after dropping the bundle of letters off at the lab door he briskly made his way away from the building as quickly as possible, feeling shaky and slightly sick.

 

His soul was still vibrating in his chest as he tried to gather himself together beside the flashing Welcome To Hotland sign he's made his way to, he didn’t want to go back to the apartment. Not right now at least. 

 

Walking, somewhat unsteadily, he continued westwards towards Waterfall. The air temperature started to drop, and arid heat gave way to warm, damp humidity and the distant, calming sounds of running water. 

 

Exiting the long tunnel and entering the large cavern at the start of Waterfall, Papyrus strolled down towards the bridge. There was an old monster who often hung around over there, and Papyrus had come to enjoy listening to the elder talk about things when he had the time. He wasn’t there today though.

 

Turning around, Papyrus made his way back towards the tall peak that enveloped the tunnel entrance from this side. After a moment’s hesitation, he pulled himself up the side of the tall rock formation, without concern for the sharp drop beneath him, until he found himself a relatively level spot to sit, overlooking the abyss surrounding the sides of the outcrop. 

 

He sat there quietly, listening to the distant sound of water deep in the abyss, invisible to the eye. Leaning back against the cool rock, he pulled off his gloves and dropped them next to him.

 

He’d never spent time here before, by this peaking rock formation. At least not that he knew of, he corrected himself mentally. He hated that he still wasn’t sure about so much. 

 

Picking at the cracks and grooves in the bone absently, he gazed out at nothing, vision blurring. Thinking about everything.

 

Soon his thoughts started taking up so much of his focus that he became completely unaware of his surroundings. 

 

He could hear the distant whispering, but it wasn’t following him the way it did in Hotland.

 

Suffocating him in his own mind.

 

He’d managed to avoid going to The Core with his job so far, mainly by trading deliveries with other people to avoid doing so. But he hadn’t thought to check his deliveries to make sure he didn’t have to go to the Western Lab. This oversight was on him!

 

He scratched hard at his knuckle bones.

 

There was so much he still wasn’t sure about. And what he was sure about… he wasn’t that sure about. 

 

No, that wasn’t true. He  _ knew  _ what he remembered was real, he  _ knew  _ what he’d remembered that day when he’d first left the apartment was true!

 

But  _ Sans  _ didn’t remember it.

 

And that…

 

Wasn’t a bad thing.

 

His fingers hooked in the open gap in the bones of his palm, tugging absently at the bonds held together with magic.

 

If Sans didn’t remember, it would make him happier. It  _ was  _ making him happier!

 

And as long as Sans was happy, Papyrus would be happy too!

 

He dug his fingertips into the bones surrounding the hole hard.

 

That was what mattered.

 

Papyrus was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t hear the sound of someone mumbling as they climbed up the rock formation.

 

.

.

.

 

“...the story of our people and… um… shit! What should come next? Ughhhh!”

 

Undyne, the newest head of the Royal Guard, clambered up the rockface. This was one of her favourite places in Waterfall, it was so awesomely dramatic - the perfect place to practice epic monologues! She’d only been the head of the guard for a few months, but she was going to be fully prepared if another human fell down one day!

 

Pulling herself up over a large boulder with ease, something caught her eye, and her chest lurched for a second once she looked again.

 

A skeleton monster was just sitting there, gazing into the abyss. He looked very thoughtful. The light in his eyes strained and distant.

 

Her mouth felt dry.

 

This was familiar.

 

It hadn’t been that long ago that she’d met someone else with a very similar look on their face. 

 

Her heart rate picked up when she saw the way his hands were digging into each other in a way that had to be painful. He didn’t seem to notice.

 

After a moment's hesitation, she moved.

 

“Hey!” She said loudly, a wide grin on her face, as she dropped down next to him.

 

The skeleton jumped in shock, and next thing Undyne knew she was caged in bones.

 

Looking at the impressive magical construction surrounding her, Undyne grinned even wider.

 

“That! Is so awesome!” She grinned, poking one of the bones, “You barely even had time to realise I was here! But look at this thing!”

 

The skeleton meanwhile looked mortified, and the bones quickly collapsed and vanished.

 

“I’M SO SORRY!” he gasped loudly, “That was so rude of me!”

 

Still keeping her grin wide she scanned the skeleton monster. From close up, she could see blood in some of the joints of his hands from where he’d been digging into them. She didn’t let her eyes linger. Instead, she let her gaze drift casually and focused on his face. A wide grin on her face.

 

“You kidding? That was such amazing control! You noticed a potential threat and instantly handled it in such a way that it gave you time to better analyse the situation without causing harm to what might have been an innocent civilian! SO! FREAKING! COOL!”

 

She did a double fist pump to further illustrate this point. She had not expected this.

 

“Thank you?” The skeleton replied.

 

Undyne noticed he was pulling on gloves out of the corner of her eye. She didn’t draw attention to it.

 

“What’s your name, by the way?” She asked, “I’m Undyne - Captain of the Royal Guard!”

 

“C-captain?” 

 

“Yup!”

 

There was a lull before he seemed to realise he hadn’t answered the question.

 

“Oh! I’m Papyrus!” He exclaimed loudly.

 

“Nice to meet you Papyrus!” She said, sticking a hand towards the smaller monster.

 

He flinched at the sudden movement but quickly took her hand in return. She squeezed much more gently that she usually would have.

 

“So what are you doing up here?” She asked casually.

 

Papyrus blinked, before giving a small shrug, “I just didn’t feel like going home, this seemed like as good a spot to sit as any.”

 

He spoke much more quietly than he had before.

 

“Cool, cool. I get that,” She replied, looking up at the cavern ceiling high above, “This is a pretty neat place to spend time away from home. I spend a lot of time here myself!”

 

“Oh?” 

 

“Yeah! You should see the view from the top! The wind _really_ howls up there too! I asked a friend about it since weather like that seemed kinda strange in the underground - she said it’s probably caused by a breeze being funnelled through narrow passages in the rock until it gets really strong or something. I don’t really get the science of it, but it made sense when she explained it to me!”

 

The skeleton nodded, “That sounds like Bernoulli’s theorem. The total mechanical energy of the breeze, consisting of the energy associated with the pressure, gravitational potential energy, and the kinetic energy of the winds motion, remains constant. It’s part of fluid dynamics. Um.”

 

“Oh-ho! Looks like I've got myself another nerd here!” She grabbed him under her arm, pulling him in and giving him a gentle noogie.

 

He laughed as he struggled out of her grip. He was still laughing as he leant back against the rock, hands crossed over his knees. Grinning back, she threw an arm over his shoulder, “C’mon, let’s climb to the top!”

 

He nodded, tears in the corners of his eyes as he continued laughing softly.

 

.

.

.

 

Papyrus felt lighter than he could ever remember as he’s made his way home. This was the longest, most enjoyable time he'd spent with someone who wasn’t Sans.

 

And it had been great! The weight that he felt on him at all times had fallen away for a few hours as the Captain of the Royal Guard herself spent time with him. The climb had only been the start! They’d ended up messing around with their magic and attacking boulders after they’d climbed the peak, it felt like he hadn’t let loose with his magic in forever! 

 

He couldn’t remember laughing in forever…

 

And moving and exerting himself felt so good! He really felt alive. His bone formations had been perfect and organised and had done everything he wanted perfectly. and he felt the warmth and satisfaction that came from that. And Captain Undyne had been so impressed as well!

 

That thought made him feel slightly dizzy.

 

The Captain of the Royal Guard knew who he was now! 

 

_ Forgettable _

 

He shook that thought away. He didn’t want to be forgettable! He wanted to be great! As great as Undyne! As great as Mettaton! He wanted to be the Great Papyrus! Someone who was worthy of being friends with people! 

 

Someone who could maybe be friends with Undyne one day!

 

The casual tackles and arm punches she’d sent his way while they’d spent time together had made him feel more connected to the reality around him than he could really remember being before. He felt like  _ he  _ was really real!

 

He was practically vibrating with energy when he finally reached the apartment.

 

And then, the day got even better.

 

Sans had a surprise for Papyrus when he got home. 

 

“oh, papyrus, you’re back!” Sans said, sitting on the ground next to the couch, papers scattered on the ground in front of him.

 

“You were much later than usual, is everything okay?”

 

“YES! I’M GREAT! EVERYTHING IS GREAT!” Papyrus replied with enthusiasm.

 

Sans chuckled, “that’s great. so i have some news.”

 

Papyrus froze, “Oh?”

 

“yup.” Sans spoke, “so i know you hate it here, and i’ve been thinking. maybe we should move. there’s not really enough room for me to work in this apartment, and with you working so hard for the rent here so i can keep working on this. i thought this might make a nice change.”

 

Picking up one of the papers on the floor, he held it up. Coming closer so he could see, Papyrus squinted at the pamphlet. 

 

Snowdin?

 

“i went to check out a house there yesterday while you were at work. i checked my savings, they still exist… thankfully,” Sans muttered that last bit, “and i have enough for the down payment. i’ve got all the paperwork, i’m just waiting on your say before i sign things. cost of living is much cheaper there from the looks of things, so that’s a bonus too.”

 

Papyrus couldn’t speak. This day had to be a dream! Life could not be this perfect, it couldn’t be real.

 

But dream or not!

 

Diving forward he pulled his brother into a tight hug.

 

Chuckling into Papyrus’s shoulder Sans patted his back, “i take it this means you’re happy with the idea?”

 

Still not trusting himself to talk he nodded.

 

Life was really getting better!

 

* * *

 

 

Snowdin was small, and the forests surrounding it were sprawling and calm. While Sans was taking a nap after the exertion of moving and unpacking everything into their new house, Papyrus stood outside and took it all in.

 

There was more open space than he’d known existed in the Underground! Photos and books didn’t do it justice!

 

It was late, and after making a splash in town this morning when they’d first arrived, the two of them had spent the rest of the day hard at work. And now, the sleepy small town had closed most of its doors for the night. A gentle glow and the occasional laughter or bark came from the direction of a place called Grillby’s, just down the road.

 

Boots crunching on the snow, Papyrus walked around the town. Everything was new!  _ Really  _ new!

 

It was perfect!

 

It was everything Hotland wasn't!

 

Puffing out a breath in the cold air, he thought about what he’d have to do tomorrow.  He’d quit his job in Hotland - never again! He was not going to go back ever again if he could help it!

 

Never again!

 

So he'd have to look for something new!

 

* * *

 

Undyne kicked over another old refrigerator, it tilted slowly as it was caught by the garbage beneath it, before crashing into the water and sending a surge of ripples across the area as she continued scanning the garbage for anything good. She’s asked Alphys if she'd wanted to meet her here so they could look for more records of human history, but Alphys had declined due to work. Again.

 

Undyne scowled as she hunched down and started digging through the heap. Alphys had closed off again, and hadn’t left the lab much at all lately. It was starting to get to Undyne.

 

She hoped everything was okay.

 

Alphys was so cool and passionate and smart, and Undyne really enjoyed spending time with her. She was so glad she met her. And she didn't want anything to change that.

 

Gazing towards the rushing waterfalls further in the cavern she crushed the broken radio she was holding.

 

_ Really  _ glad.

 

She was so glad she'd met her when she did.

 

Shaking herself she focused back down, she’d phone Alphys on her way back and tell her about anything good she’d managed to find!

 

Maybe she’d invite her to help out with setting out that bridge-seed puzzle. Undyne hated having to deal with the precision needed to make sure the measurements all worked out. But Alphys would be great at that! And it’d get her out of the lab!

 

Undyne heard a splash from behind her. Looking over her shoulder she saw movement a few heaps over. Curious, she made her way over.

 

She grinned when she saw a white skull come into focus.

 

“Hey! Papyrus, right?” She greeted.

 

Looking up in surprise, Papyrus seemed to freeze for a moment as if processing something.

 

“I-! YES! I am Papyrus! Captain Undyne, how are you?” His eyes were comically wide, and he almost dropped what he was holding.

 

Scanning him quickly, Undyne could tell immediately he was better than the first time they’d met. His eye-lights were bright and the shadows of exhaustion on his skull had faded almost completely. 

 

“Good to see you again! I haven’t seen you in, man - how many months has it been? What’re you doing here?” She asked, clapping him on the shoulder. His knees buckled slightly.

 

“Oh! I was told by my brother that this is the best place to find things if you can’t find what you’re looking for elsewhere.

 

“Yeah! It’s pretty great here, so what are you looking for, maybe I can help?” she said, taking note of the damaged electronics in Papyrus’s arms.

 

“I’m trying to find enough parts to put together a computer, but you don’t need to help me if you’re busy!”

 

“It’s no problem! I think I know where to look. There’s a bunch of electronic junk down that way” She motioned to the east, “C’mon, let’s go!”

 

As they waded through the water Undyne broke the silence again, “So how’s things been? You still awesome at magic?”

 

“Of course!” Papyrus said, radiating confidence.

 

Undyne grinned at the completely different skeleton to the one she’d first met months back, “That’s great! You can prove that later - I live really close and I've got a training yard set up.”

 

Papyrus was practically bouncing with energy at the idea. 

  
  


* * *

 

 

Walking home from his second meeting with Captain Undyne, who had remembered who he was! He was still in shock over that! He was in high spirits. All the computer parts he’d managed to find tucked carefully in the rucksack slung over his shoulders.

 

He couldn't wait to have a working computer! He'd heard the Undernet was a great way to meet new friends.

 

Speaking of friends...

 

It would be nice to do stuff like this with Undyne more often! She seemed like she would make a really great friend!

 

Papyrus faltered slightly.

 

He had no idea how he was supposed to make friends with someone really. He’d done his best to learn from Mettaton’s great example by continuing to study his shows is great detail. He had been working his hardest to become the sort of person he wanted to be friends with! In the hopes that doing so would maybe make other people want to be his friend too.

 

So far it hadn’t worked.

 

The people of Snowdin were generally kind, but despite his best efforts, people either seemed to avoid him or treat him with a kind enough sort of indifference. Sans had suggested he was coming on too strong, but that didn’t seem right to him, Mettaton was much more forward than he was on his shows and everyone liked him!

 

He’d never made a friend before.

 

He had his brother, and he was a great friend of course! But Papyrus felt it must be different to actually be friends with someone who wasn’t his only family.

 

That was why he wanted a computer after all.

 

And he really wanted to spend more time with Undyne!

 

How could he do that if he wasn’t her friend?

 

The thought hit him like a rock as he reached the checkpoint between Snowdin and Waterfall.

 

Of course!

 

It was perfect!

 

It would allow him to work with the great Undyne, and grow his popularity as well! Everyone respected the Royal Guard, and maybe that would be the key to befriending more people in Snowdin as well!

 

Running the final stretch home, he slammed open the door. Sans looked up blearily from the couch. He’d been napping on the couch. Again.

 

He’d been doing that more often again. Sleeping a lot. It worried Papyrus. Sans had been spending less time in the back room as well lately, and Papyrus had mixed feelings about that. On the one hand, it meant Sans was unlikely to bring him back, but on the other and more important side, it left Sans with nothing to do with his time.

 

Well! Maybe Papyrus could fix that too while he was at it!

 

“SANS!” Papyrus yelled.

 

“hey bro, what’s going on?” 

 

“I’m going to join the Royal Guard!”

 

“what?”

And maybe he'd be able to help get Sans a job as well while he was at it!

 

* * *

Papyrus was bouncing as he jogged back home. It was much too early for most of the population of Waterfall to be moving, but he’d done it!

 

He’s persistence had paid off and Undyne had agreed to train him!

 

Life really was great, and he was doing his best to become great enough to match it!

 

As he neared the edge of Waterfall, he paused as he saw a moving splash of yellow in the calming blues.

 

Looking in that direction he saw the strangest thing.

 

The flower turned to look up at him in return.

 

“Oh! Hello there!” Papyrus grinned.

  
“Howdy!” Came the smiling reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay! finished! for now! i'm going to take a kinda break to finish up this mp100 fic i've been working on before i continue with this series. still at least 2-3 parts left to come though
> 
> (i was originally going to end this back with frisk, but i reeeeallly wanted to end it like this - so frisk will get a one-shot later)


End file.
